Special thanks to our Messy Judge, David SMOKIN' Max, for selecting the winners. David was there when the Messy Gourmet was hatched on the Serengheti Plains and has published several scientifically messy essays (Whassup Wasabi, Phundamental Pudding Principles).
David writes:
I love that lingering smoldering sensation from a dish with a dash of cayenne. I love
the warm sweet bite of fresh ginger. I love getting kicked in the sinuses by
a stiff wallop of wasabi. I even get a little thrill from those little
cinnamon-flavored "red hot" candies. If it kicks, bites, or burns, I want to
hear more about it.
My gourmet type didn't fully develop until I moved out to southern
California for college. It was there that I encountered some of the spicy
accents of Mexican-influenced cuisine. I can still remember the innocence
with which I asked my roommate the day he introduced me to salsa, "Cilantro?
What's cilantro?" (Pssst. Wanna recipe for fresh salsa? Tomatoes, onion,
garlic, cilantro, lime juice, hot sauce to taste. Chop into bitty pieces and
don't let too much of the slimy seedy part of the tomato into the mix.) Soon
after that, I was experimenting with stir-frying (we bought a wok, you see),
and I got a little baggy of those little dried elongated red hot peppers,
you know, just to be more "authentic" when I tried to make Kung Pao chicken.
One thing led to another and eventually I was putting pepperocini in my tuna
salad, Cajun barbeque sauce in baked beans and Jalapeno in my chicken soup.
These days, I have mellowed somewhat, toning down the heat a bit so as not
to overwhelm the other flavors, but still deep within my heart burns the
fire of a SMOKIN' Messy Gourmet that no amount of time or Tums can
extinguish.
Thanks to all who participated in the contest!
The Lucky Seven Sweepstakes winner of a messy seven course dinner for two overlooking Manhattan is…(ta dadada ta ta ta DAAAAAAH)
Aryeh BLOODY Goldsmith
Sung to 'If I only had a brain' from the Wizard of Oz.
When dinner is what I'm making,
Or a cake is what I'm baking,
This is what I say.
A dab of this and then a measure,
Cooking's fun what a pleasure,
For a messy gourmet.
Whenever I use jelly,
I get some on my belly,
But there it doesn't stay.
Red and orange, sometimes yellow,
Covers me a jolly fellow,
Being a messy gourmet
You'll rarely hear me complain,
Each time I make a stain.
Or accidental spray,
A bit of vinegar and warm water
Perhaps a lemon and a quarter
Can fix a messy gourmet.
My best dish always pleases,
Because I use many cheeses.
And bake it on a tray.
Chopped up veggies all around,
Add tomatoes by the pound,
Who cares if it makes a mound,
I am a bloody gourmet.
MESSY JUDGE'S COMMENTS: There are some people who believe that there are hardly any words spoken in the world that couldn't be said better in verse with musical accompaniment. I'm not one of those people. But the very idea that someone would be so moved as to compose a soundtrack for the Messy Gourmet is one that seems to capture best what Messy Gourmet cooking at its best is about. Lyrical, fun, expressive, familiar yet not commonplace.
Now, when you come to New York to collect your grand prize, and Sharon and Abigail go to all that trouble to prepare a fabulous dinner for you overlooking Manhattan, I am sure that you will repay their kindness by offering to sing them a rendition of your winning entry in person.
First prize winner of a personalized Messy Apron:
Michelle BLOODY/SMELLY Baillie
I’ve always felt that most recipes could be substantially improved with the addition of the tomato, so for the purpose of this contest I declare myself to be Bloody. In truth, however, I feel I would be best described as a Bloody/Smelly hybrid. You see, while most recipes come to life with the bright tang and texture of the tomato, the tomato is made divine with the addition of garlic.
Picture the tomatoes, so beautiful and red, cooked slowly, until the color deepens and the surface shines like red satin. Taste a spoonful. Let it slide smoothly across to the back of your tongue where it tweaks the taste buds gently.
Now take those same tomatoes and cook them slowly with garlic. They take on a new character, a richness. The high note is lowered – the edge is rounded. The tomato becomes more expansive. To quote a fictional television character, “there just can’t be too many ‘Os’ in smoooooth.
MESSY JUDGE'S COMMENTS: I love the way you are so invested in your food. Appreciating the sensuality in cooking and eating is one of the great pleasures in life. With your particular predilection, I'll bet that personalized Messy Gourmet apron is going to come in real handy at your home.
Other Winners: We hope you wear your messy apron with PRIDE!
Mike SMELLY Meyer
My son and I's favorite pizza is anchovie and garlic. We're the only ones that order it at our fav restaraunt. Also, when ordering anything with garlic, I ask that they put too much in it. When cooking however, I have to tone it down for my Italian wife, go figure !
MESSY JUDGE'S COMMENTS: "Put too much in." I love that line.
Susan SMOKIN' Cadiou
It seems I always end up burning something. Also I am always running from in the house to outside and grilling, so if the smoke does not come from the food, it is coming from my feet.
MESSY JUDGE'S COMMENTS: In my experience, a Messy Gourmet is also a bit of a frantic gourmet. So much to do, some much to keep track of, all happening at once.
Norma BLOODY Crapo
I love my steaks very rare. I have had people refuse to sit near me when I order a steak in a restaurant. At home I grill out a lot and still like my steaks very rare.
MESSY JUDGE'S COMMENTS: I can just picture the home grilling scene: Ahhh! Time to cook the steak. Would anybody like some potato salad? It's right there on the table…Whoops! Gotta get my steak off before it's overdone! Whew! Saved it just in time. E-Coli? Hah!
Katie SMOKIN' Coleman
I'm not sure which category I fit into, let's just say I'm really messy - and have the misfortune to live with a kitchen neat freak. No matter what I cook the kitchen invaribly looks like a tornado just went through. But the food is good (a little bragging never hurt). Recently, when looking for a favorite recipe from years past I thought I had found it, but realized that the pages of the book were too clean - not it. I found it when I looked in a book with "dirty" pages. Messy is much more satisfying, besides I'm too busy cooking to clean up as I go along - which my mother always tried to teach me - one lesson I never learned!
MESSY JUDGE'S COMMENTS: Note to the person whose entry said that the kitchen looks a like a hurricane hit: due to its higher wind velocity, Tornado-messy is much messier than hurricane-messy. Speaking of which, after a particularly, er, effusive cooking episode, don't you wish you could just click your heels together three times and have the mess evaporate like Dorothy's dream?
John TIPSY Perkins
Enjoy the cooking wine too much!!
MESSY JUDGE'S COMMENTS: To the point, stylish, and a touch of humor. That's the idea!
