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Oh! Alfredo!
Orgasmic Parmesean Alfredo
Contributed by Brook Partner
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This orgasmic Parmesean Alfredo will have your friends gasping at the table . . .
which could lead to some interesting dinner conversation.
You need:
- a box of pasta, whatever shape you want.
- an egg
- around a half a cup of cream (or milk, or a quarter cup white wine and a
quarter cup cream is good, too)
- a nice chunk of parmesean cheese. Please! Don't even think of making this
with that pulverized cardboard in a can that masquerades as parmesean cheese.
Tell someone else to bring the wine and bread and splurge on a hunk of the real stuff.
You will thank me.
- Fill a big pot with water and some salt and set it to boilin'. You want it hot, hot, hot.
- Fill a big bowl with hot water from the tap to warm it up.
- Start grating.
- The water is boiling so put the pasta in.
- Keep grating. You'll need at least three times as much cheese as cream.
The more cheese the thicker the sauce. If your elbows get tired, hand the hunk
and grater to a good looking friend (i.e. hand the hunk to a hunk), just don't skimp on the cheese!
- Just before the pasta is done, empty all the water out of the bowl and crack the
egg into it. (Let me be up front. You're not going to cook the egg. The FDA would
probably have a hissy fit about that, but according to me, the heat from
the bowl and from the just boiled pasta will be good enough.
Hey, I've yet to kill anybody with this dish, and if you're still complaining,
you better wipe that raw cookie dough off your mouth, too.)
- Pour in the cream and the grated cheese and stir.
- Grind some fresh pepper in there.
- Be creative. Add some sun-dried tomatoes, some
sauteed chicken breast, some basil leaves, whatever you think will taste good.
- Drain the pasta.
- Pour the pasta into the bowl with the sauce and toss well.
- EAT and most of all ENJOY!
Stains: Cream
Don't get agitated, just agitate the stain under cold water.
Movies for inspiration: Alfie (1966)
What's it all about... Alfie.
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NukeM HaM n' RaMen
M M M good
Creation contributed by K. Comer
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This creation proves than nuking Ramen in a microwave is a gourmet experience worth trying.
It is so easy and quick to make that the instructions are measured in mere seconds.
It serves two dieticians sized portions or one real american sized portion.
Ingredients:
- 1 pkg "Oriental" flavored Ramen (note 1)
- an egg
- a palm-full of finely chopped bell pepper
- a fist-full of chopped ham (note 2)
- a fist-full of chopped green onion
- Tabasco, to taste (a dash)
- Black Pepper, to taste (generous sprinkling)
- Large bowl filled with about a cup and a half of water
Instructions:
- nuke the water for three minutes, meanwhile breaking up the ramen
noodles and chopping other ingredients
- Dump in the noodles. Don't dump in the little
foil packet, or, if you do, fish it out and set it
aside. Nuke it 30 seconds more.
- Stir. Break in the egg. (note 3) Nuke for 30 seconds.
- Break the yolk and stir thoroughly. Nuke for 66
seconds (note 4)
- Dump the chopped ham and bell pepper into the soup.
Mix thoroughly. Nuke for 30 seconds.
- Dump in the green onion. Stir briefly. Nuke it
for 22 seconds.
- Put the contents of the foil packet into the soup.
Season to taste. Mix well. Eat.
Buen Provencho!
note 1: Although Shrimp, Beef, Pork, and Chicken flavors bear some
resemblance to their namesakes,
I have never felt that the "oriental" flavored
soup tastes much like an oriental. Not that I
have ever chopped and boiled an oriental, but only
because I have never had a volunteer.
note 2: Cure 81 ham works well. I usually cut about
a third of an inch thick, then make cubes about a
third of an inch to a side.
note 3: Discard the shell
note 4: Microwave ovens vary. Consult your owner's
manual.
Stains: Microwave stains
For dried on year old stains, boil water in a mug for a
few minutes as the steam loosens the shmutz. Wipe dry.
Movies for inspiration:Aliens (1986)
Ellen Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.
That's the only way to be sure.
