Portable Portabella Contributed by J. Wright

To do this right, I suppose you'll have to make sure that everything spills all over your counter. But here is the list of ingredients.

• 3 Portabella Mushrooms
• 1 cup grated sharp cheddar
• 1/2 cup Parmesan or Romano cheese
• 2 ripe roma tomatoes
• 1 small onion
• As many cloves of garlic as you can handle
• Oregano
• Basil
• 1 tbsp Olive Oil

Chop onion and garlic finely and the tomatoes slightly less so. Take time to wash your hands and dry your watery eyes. Stir together with all the othe r ingredients except the mushrooms. Wash mushrooms and gently break off stems. Put just a little extra olive oil on the tops so that they won't stick to the pan later. Cover the underside of the mushroom with mixture and place on a baking sheet. Put in oven (at about 350 degrees) until cheese is well melted in the centre or about 20-30 minutes. Use with caution, as this may cause your guests to fall in love with you.

Stains:Messy counter
Take a sponge and wipe it clean!

Movies for inspiration: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
Ted: Hey, did you ever make a mushroom out of his head--?

It Ain't a Picnic Without Some Ol' Fashioned Potato Salad From the Tacky Gormay section of the Messy Gourmet Cookbook Contributed by Sheila Saey

The title says it all. This recipe has all the right ingredients and it's waiting for you to choose how much of each you want to include in your next batch. The family reunion's coming up!

If you go to the family reunion to meet women… you might be a Redneck. (Jeff Foxworthy)

• boiled potatoes (red potatoes give a sweeter flavor), diced
• onions (optional), chopped
• boiled, diced eggs
• celery, chopped (celery salt works fine as replacement)
• mayonnaise (or Miracle Whip)
• TINY bit of mustard
• TINY bit of sugar
• TINY bit of milk
• pickles, sweet or dill upon your preference (my family does not care for pickles so I just use the juice, works just as well!)

1. Put diced boiled potatoes, onions, eggs, celery and pickles into large mixing bowl.
2. In jar with lid, mix together the mayo, mustard, sugar, milk and pickle juice. (I put in celery salt at this time as well.)
3. Replace lid on jar and shake vigorously to blend all ingredients. You should use enough of each ingredient so that potato salad is not dry.
4. Pour this mixture over the potatoes, etc. Mix with large spoon.
5. Refrigerate till ready

Stains:Potato Art
Cut a spud in half and carve. Paint over the open half and use the spud as a stamp on paper canvas. Call it modern art.

Movies for inspiration:Drowning Mona (2000)
Chief Wyatt Rash: My mother always used to say, "When life hands you potatoes, make potato salad."