Spaghetti that will make you cry Someone once told us: "this is the greatest.... sob.... @#&!ing.... sob.... spaghetti.... sob.... I ever had in... sob... my @#&!ing life. I love you guys. I love everybody." Contributed By Benjamin Lewis & Rodrigo Velloso Authors of Eat Dangerously Buy the book or Visit their website www.eatdangerously.com

Heat up the oil in a big pot. Add garlic, fry for a minute, then add beef and half of the onions. After a few minutes, push to one side and in the empty space sauté peppers, onions, celery.

When the beef is gray, add mushrooms and tomatoes and stir everything together. No need to drain the fat. Add the remaining ingredients then simmer for two hours, stirring occasionally, adding more beer or wine at your discretion.

Serve with grated cheese, booze and spaghetti cooked al dente.

Serves 1 person 10 times, 2 people 5 times, 3 people 3.333 times, 4 people 2.5 times, 5people 2 times, 6 people 1.66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666667 times, 7 people 1.428571 times, 8 people 1.25 times, 9 people almost 1 time, and 10 people just once.

Stains: Spaghetti sauce:
Pre treat with stain remover. Launder. For remaining stain, sponge with a solution of equal parts white vinegar and water, rinse in cool water. Re-apply stain remover and launder.

Movies for inspiration: Big Night (1996)
Secondo: Sometimes spaghetti just likes to be alone.

Tangerine Dream Contributed By Benjamin Lewis & Rodrigo Velloso Authors of Eat Dangerously Buy the book or Visit their website www.eatdangerously.com

Two wrongs don't make a right - they make one hell of a good time! On a similar note, always remember that you are not really having a good time unless the cops are involved or you find yourself taking off your pants and spinning them around your head!

8 thin kosher chicken breast filets
1 cup white vinegar
½ cup dry white wine
½ cup mustard
30 drops of Tobasco
½ cup brown sugar
1 tangerine
¼ stick of butter
¼ cup of cointreau

Make a marinade by mixing the vinegar, white wine, mustard and tobasco. Cover the chicken filets in this marinade (it's nicer if you can leave the chicken marinating overnight, but two hours should suffice).

Grate some of the tangerine peel until you a have two teaspoons of the stuff and mix it into the sugar (this may cause the sugar to appear wet). Set aside. Juice the tangerine making sure to strain out any seeds. Set aside

Heat the butter in a skillet on high heat until it has stopped foaming and begun to brown. Remove the filets from the marinade and put them in the skillet at once. Tssssssss. Brown each side of the filets, flipping once. Remove the filets from the skillet and place them in a small baking dish.

Put the baking dish in the oven at 375 degrees. Lower the heat on the skillet to medium-low (there should be some liquid from the marinade in the skillet, but if not, feel free to add about ¼ cup of the stuff and bring to a boil. Add the tangerine juice to the skillet and bring to a boil. When boiling, add the brown sugar mixture and stir well. Finally, add the cointreau and reduce until the liquid is fairly thick.

At this point, the filets have been in the oven for about 10 minutes. Pour the sauce over them and bake for an additional 5 minutes.

Serves 4 isolationists

Stains: Mustard
Pre-treat with stain remover. Launder. For remaining stain, blot with vinegar, rinse and launder.

Movies for inspiration: The Maltese Falcon (1941)- The stuff dreams are made of.

Light Euro-Dinner Contributed By Benjamin Lewis & Rodrigo Velloso Authors of Eat Dangerously Buy the book or Visit their website www.eatdangerously.com

On the "morning after," go urban hiking with your date for the ingredients for the following meal. To urban hike: get a backpack, nice shoes, a sport coat or dress, mace, lighter, and a pack of cigarettes. First buy a long baguette and make sure it sticks out of your bag so everyone knows you mean business. Then hike from store to store shopping for food, stopping often for espresso. Then have her over again for light fare and, afterwards, wash the dishes together…in the shower.

6 slices of Prosciutto di Parma, thin enough to fax 1 roasted clove of garlic 1 roasted bell pepper (red, yellow, or green, oh my!) with basil and olive oil 1 chunk o' goat cheese Excellent olive oil 1 halved baguette, doused with olive oil and briefly toasted.

To roast the garlic, put in a medium oven of about 350 degrees F for 30-40 minutes wrapped in tin foil or in a terra cotta device.

To roast the bell pepper, coat with olive oil and put directly on an electric stove burner turned on high heat until black. OR, broil until black. Put in a paper bag for a few minutes. After removing from the bag, dunk in ice water and peel off the burnt skin. Gut and slice.

Soak the goat cheese for a few hours in excellent olive oil

Arrange ingredients on separate plates and dig in.

Serves 2 people who have seen each other in the buck.

Stains: Use a newspaper as a tablecloth and you'll not only prevent stains but also search for an apartment while munching.

Movies for inspiration:Europa Europa (1990)