Moral of the story:
Do not wear wool socks on a hardwood floor while cooking. However, if you must, try not to be a klutz.

Stains:
Blood: Soak as soon as possible in cold water. See below.

Movie for inspiration: Texas Chainsaw Massacre(1974)

Coincidental non-edible stains:
Not all stains caused in the kitchen are food stains. For example what if you are using a pen to modify/mark your printed recipes, you may end up with nasty ink stains on your clothes. An amazingly easy way to de-ink your clothes is to spray the stain with hairspray before tossing the clothing in the laundry hamper. (contributed by L. Lee)

Another kitchen scenario: For those gourmet klutzes who cut themselves while cooking and get blood on their clothing, pouring peroxide on the stain and washing it with soap in cold water will do the job. Coincidentally, the same process works for your cut!(contributed by A. Miller)

Confession of a klutz: The berry stain
Since I'm a klutz, my recent ex-girlfriend was always teaching me how to clean food stains from my clothes. One thing I learned was that for berry stains, one should boil water in a kettle, pull the stained item taut across a sink, and pour the water SLOWLY from above one's head on to the stain. I think this trick was invented for strawberry stains, but I also think it applies to all berry stains. This was interesting to me because another thing she taught me is that almost all other stains should be washed out with cold water, which is counterintuitive (but true thus far in my experience). So why berry-stains get special treatment is beyond me. (contributed by B. Stuart)

Reader's comments:

Yes, it works. I have used this method for years but without holding the boiling water over my head - it works if just poured on from a normal position. It does work on all fruit stains. (A. Schramm)

All Purpose is Meaningful

Readers have been very open in contributing their secret all purpose stain removal tips. Use at your own risk.

Just wanted to add a great spot remover cocktail for thoses pesky food stains , that all messy cooks get : equal parts of vinegar,Whisk,water,ammonia.Mix in a spray bottle..... Works wonders. (Contributed by C. Marker)

Toothpaste is good for removing stains on clothing, especially helpful when you are traveling. So don't forget the toothpaste next time. (Contributed by Ja.Smith)

Dishsoap works great to get out any kind of stain!!! (Note: USE THE UNCOLORED STUFF!!!) (Ed note: We will!!!) (Contributed by L. Abelseth)